Sex is not part of the conversations we have in our part of the world.
Some parents hardly talk to their kids about it and the reverse is also true.
Trust a conversation to immediately turn awkward when sex is introduced.
I am still baffled by why this conversation about sex is shrouded in such secrecy yet so many people are having it.
I think it is time to have a very open conversation about sex starting with the first sex experiences of these five people.
Mary Okoe -26 years
I was 18 years. After a French class at Alliance Francais I came to visit him and it happened. It wasn't planned, it just happened. I don't believe in love. Then I was kind of naive so maybe I loved him. There was no blood and I think he was shocked. I thought it will be something very nice but I realised that it is nothing. When we were in school it was a discussion that we usually had that after school we will do. I felt like hey I am a woman after the act.
Sandra Oteng -27 years:
The first time I had sex it was like eating Karina's cake. It was sweet. I was 25 and it was done in my mother's house. We planned everything. I had waited for a long time and I wanted it to be nice. I was eager to see the first blood but it did not come but the guy knew I was from a good family so he believed I was a virgin. It was painful but as it went deeper it was okay. The first position was the missionary one but we changed as we went on. I will describe my first sex experience as tasting cake for the first time.
Yaw Okito - 26 years:
I was 18 years. It was a Friday night and it was with a friend who was two years older than me. I went to her place and through conversations she calmed me down and made me understand that it was okay, it's just sex. It was weird and all that, I was nervous and overwhelmed. At a point in time she told me to relax. I had heard about sex, watched porn and all of that but the first time I was still nervous. We had two rounds of sex that day. After that I felt I had sinned. After a while watching TV and talking and eating I felt okay. The first position we tried was the missionary one, I was on top of her. I would describe my first time as bitter sweet.
Osman Salia - 28 years:
I was quite young, I was 16 years. She was 15. She came to my house. We had been building up to the day with kisses and all that. We watched a movie and I was like can you come over so we try this. It happened like midday there was nobody in the house. We were both virgins and so we were a bit nervous but it was cool. It wasn't a missionary position the first time.. I tried the doggy position. It was her specific requirement. There was just like a little drop of blood from her but it was not a big deal. Being raised from a Christian home you have been told not to have it till you are married. You would feel like you have sinned and you have to purge yourself. I felt guilty afterwards.
Betsy Boateng 29 years:
My father sat my sister and I down and specifically told us to keep our virginity until marriage. The big plan was to reward us on our wedding day. My dad is no more but looking back I wish I had kept that promise. My sister is still a virgin though and she is 28. I did it with my first boyfriend and he was my first love. It was not planned because he had made a couple of attempts after almost a year into the relationship but I had always said I wasn't ready. So one Saturday evening it happened in his house. I remember it was very painful and at some point I had to push him away from me. After everything I felt guilty for months and I blamed him on several occasions for taking away something so dear to me. But hey it's been seven years and I am so over the guilt.